Peer / teacher feedback on our 1st episode

We have received feedback on our 1st episode for or web series 'lines'

Here is a list of the peer feedback we received from the class:

• Sound levels need improving (some bits louder than others)(Mentioned 5 times)
• CD films logo to long (Mentioned 4 times)
• Credits are to fast at the end (Mentioned 3 times)
• Poor acting
• Opening sequence is to repetitive
• Editing of the video is good & works well
• Nice logos, they look well made and effective to the audience
• Poorly recorded narration
• Inappropriate music used throughout the video (including the opening sequence)
• Camera work could be better
• Too many cuts
• Script is too basic
• Poor cuts used
• Poorly planned
• The actors need auditions before acting in next video as they don't seem very confident in the first episode (Mentioned 3 times)
• Catchy song works well (Mentioned 3 times)
• The stereotypes are not clearly shown in the 1st episode
• Need more close ups
• Need more core content
• Visual gags of skeleton work well
• Need more comedy rather than drama to make it more comedic
• Continuity issues need improving (Mentioned 3 times)

Here is the feedback we received from Pete (Teacher):

• When the character is holding the polos, there could of been a close up
• While I was watching the 1st episode, it felt as if I was in a theater, there needs to be more use of close ups and shot changes
• Voice over explaining each character works well, needs to be more narration
• Cut to show different characters
• More planning is needed prior to next shoot (rehearsals etc) to avoid bad acting
• High angle show works well, but panning shot doesn't work within the same shot
• Sound levels need improving / editing

Lines first episode

This is our first episode for our webisode of Lines.

Shotlist - part 2 of episode 1 - Lines

After a change of plan with the story boarding, I have decided to instead do a shot list of the second part of the script for episode 1 of Lines. Kirk explained that if we all did parts of the storyboard it would be confusing, he has printed out the storyboard templates and thinks we should all do it together on Monday - which I think is a better idea.

However, Matt L and I decided instead to do a shot list for everyone to use on Monday so it would consequently be easier to so a storyboard while following the shot list. Matt decided to do the first part of the script and I did the second after splitting the task in to two, below is my version of the shot list. It is only to give a basic idea of the shots but in my opinion think I have done well judging from the script.

shotlist - continued from

JAKE (narration)

“Meeting someone like him, made me question why he ended up in detention in the first place.”

1. close up of JAKE first.
2. cut to close up of ZEKE after quote ‘meeting someone like him’ while narration continues
3. cut to present detention room, long establishing shot
4. shot of clock to symbolise time - afternoon
5. mid shot of TAYLOR sitting on top of a table
6. mid shot of MEGAN with headphones in
7. mid shot of MEGAN taking headphones out and turning to JAKE
8. close up shot of MEGAN while talking 'So, you're an actor? What's it like being famous?'
9. camera cuts back to JAKE looking up
10. close up of TAYLOR until line ‘I’ve never heard of him’
11. quick cut back to JAKE
12. close up of TAYLOR again while dialogue 'he wouldn't be in detention, would he?
13. long shot of detention room
14. close up of MEGAN while dialogue 'No, but listen to this, right.'
15. mid shot of JAKE sighing and dialogue ‘Look guys.’
16. shots of characters turning to face JAKE
17. close up of JAKE continuing dialogue 'That's all there is to know.'
18. pause. shot of whole detention room. silence
19. close up of ZEKE while dialogue 'I wonder how the others are getting on..'
20. camera PANS to MEGAN
21. close up of MEGAN while dialogue 'Don't get me started', perhaps over the shoulder shot
22. shot of door opening and SETH walking in.
23. camera holds to see TEACHER 1.
24. continuous quick shots to show argument.
25. close up of TEACHER 1 while dialogue ‘I’ve had it up to here with your lies!’
26. quick close up of SETH
27. close up of TEACHER 1, finishes dialogue.
28. over the shoulder shot of SETH ‘If you’d just let me explain’
29. quick shot of the whole detention room. Everyone is looking.
30. final shot of TEACHER 1 while dualogue occurs
31. Mid shot of TEACHER 1 leaving the room
32. close up of door slamming
33. mid shot of SETH turning
34. quick close ups of characters to establish puzzled looks
35. close up of SETH while dialogue.
36. Camera fades out.

Full free times for filming week commencing 18th Jan

Elliot Hickey - Monday 9 - 10.50,

Tuesday 2.40 - 4.10,

Wednesday 9 - 12,

Thursday 12.20 - 4.10.

Catherine Montgomery - Monday 10.50 - 12.20,

Tuesday 10.30 - 2.40,

Thursday 9 - 10.50,

Friday 12.20 - 4.10

Grant Cole - Monday - 12:20 - 4.10

Tuesday - 10:30 - 2:40

Wednesday - 9:00 - 10:50, 13:00 - 13:35, 13:55 - 2:40

Thursday - 9:00 - 2:40

Friday - 9:00 - 10:50, 13:55 - 4:10

Tom Jakes - Monday - 1 - 4.10,

Tuesday - 1 - 4.10,

Friday - 10.30 - 2.40.

Josef James - Monday - 10.50 - 12.20,

Tuesday 10.50 - 4.10,

Wednesday 12.20 - 2.35,

Thursday - 9.00 - 12.20,

Friday - 9.00 - 10.50 then 1.05 - 4.10.

Here are the completed free times of our five main characters for our web series which I have added together after further replies. We have still not received times from James Amey or Jennifer Green who were asked to play the 3 minor roles, so are still waiting for a reply, if not we may ring and ask or speak to them in college. Hopefully with these completed times we can as a group on Monday work out the best times to film for the cast and for ourselves. From the completed times in my opinion, it looks as if most people are free on different times, so this may be difficult however I am sure we can compromise a little perhaps, I will see what happens after a group discussion on Monday.

Costume ideas

Here we thought of some costume ideas, in which we thought about plain white polo shirts and plain black trousers. The idea of kids being in detention relates to the idea of uniform - therefore we like the idea of uniform for costume design. It will be simple uniform though and cannot be expensive as it relates to our budget of £50, therefore we need to find the cheapest uniform available. Mike was then asked to look for uniform in shops etc, but if not we will all look and find the cheapest alternative. Various pictures are shown below:

Auditions Video

Here is the video of the auditionees that came to the auditions yesterday, the music over the top of the video is the soundtrack that we are going to be using for the introduction sequence.

Progress photos

Final Cast

Jake Wood - Josef James

Taylor - Grant Cole

Seth - Elliot Hickey

Zeke - Tom James

Megan - Catherine Montgomery

Extras

AGENT1 - James Amey

TAYLOR'S GIRLFRIEND - Jennifer Green

FRIEND1 - unconfirmed

TEACHER - unconfirmed

Free times

Elliot Hickey - Monday 9 - 10.50, Tuesday 2.40 - 4.10, Wednesday 9 - 12, Thursday 12.20 - 4.10.

Catherine Montgomery - Monday 10.50 - 12.20, Tuesday 10.50 - 2.40, Thursday 9 - 10.50,

Friday 12.20 - 4.10

Grant Cole - Monday - 12:20 onwards, Tuesday - 10:30 - 2:40, Wednesday - 9:00 - 10:50, 13:00 - 13:35, 13:55 - 2:40, Thursday - 9:00 - 2:40, Friday - 9:00 - 10:50, 13:55 - 4:10.

Josef James - Monday 10.50 - 12.20, Tuesday 10.50 - 4.10, Wednesday 12.20 - 2.35, Thursday 9 - 12.20, friday 9 10.50, 2.35 - 4.10.

Currently we do not have free times for Tom Jakes and James Amey, but we will update them as soon as we get emails back.

Lines - Theme soundtrack

This is our chosen theme soundtrack for our 'Lines' web series. The song is mainly upbeat and we feel it will fit well with our ideas of a title sequence. Sam and Alie looked through the unsigned bands which have got in contact with us and originally came up with this song, we all had a listen and agreed on the song.

Risk assessment

Here is our finished risk assessment for filming on Wednesday 13th January 2010.

Request form

Here is our finished request form for filming on Wednesday 13th January. It was completed by Tim and I.

Rough T Shirt Designs - Marketing

Here are some rough designs for our t shirt marketing method. The font is different from the font on the facebook logo, but this font will later be changed to the font we have used on these t shirts. A T shirt in my opinion is an excellent way to promote something, as it gets people noticed - something like this will really help in our advertising and marketing aspect of the show project.

We have also included a slogan on the back of the t shirts which features in the script, it is said by the teacher and will be one of the slogans of the web series. We used a t shirt making website called spreadshirt, to create a T shirt design for the web series.

We have decided to operate through a 'make to order' process, in which a T shirt will be made and send out by spreadshirt when someone would like to purchase one, rather than buying the t shirts in bulk ourself and handing them out if any one wants to buy one, we are therefore saving a lot of our budget by doing this - which I think is a very good idea.

Character Profiles

These are the main characters for the webseries. Some more minor characters also feature in the plot, but are not listed here.

1) Jake - An actor and also the lead singer of a band who on his first day, ends up in detention. This is where he comes across the regulars in detention. But is he really who he says he is?


2) Taylor - He is a rebellious teen and is a regular in detention. But underneath all the toughness, is there someone else wanting to be heard?


3) Seth - He is dragged into detention for believing that he is being harrassed by a secret agent. Is he telling the truth or just making it up to become the centre of attention?


4) Zeke - He has a friendly person and ends up detention because he covers for his friend's troublesome antics. Will he ever be able to stand his ground with him?


5)Megan - She is a rebel, but is really insecure with herself as she comes from a well educated background. Will she be able to fit in with the crowd?

Social networking advertising - Facebook event created

In order to advertise our 'Lines' online web series, I have created a facebook event from our facebook group. The event is for the auditions on wednesday, and in my opinion will help to promote them considerably, as well as the posters Mike and I put up college on friday. Using web 2.0 as a method of advertising is growing in popularity so the event should get people interested, it is also another method of advertising than just creating a group, so this will be good for the marketing and popularity of Lines. Various pictures are posted below to show the process of creating an event:

Also after searching the word 'Lines' on a facebook search, it is the first result that comes up and is the only group, which I think is a great achievement as it can be found reasonably easily.

Idea for title sequence

The main idea i had was based around the name Lines, so i thought we could have a close up of a hand writing the name LINES on the whiteboard, then it zooms out: I thought we could have each character quickly writing their name on the board, but like in the title sequence of scrubs, after they write their name and turn round, they change into another character,

look at this from the titles of scrubs:



They change, so someone turns round, writes there name, turns back and changes into another character, then they do the same. only very short like that scrubs intro.

I was also thinking about slowing the frame rate down slightly so its kinda jumpy, like someone is taking loads of photos and creating a sort of flip book of it, so its all slighty distorted.

Just and idea. I believe i can do this alright, so if you guys are happy with it, we can shoot it when i'm back on thursday.

Lines Part 2

Fade In
JAKE (narration)
So far, I’d been threatened by Taylor, questioned about my fame and now there’s someone claiming to be harassed by a secret agent. Could this day get any worse?

Cut to
INT – THE DETENTION ROOM – AFTERNOON

JAKE is sitting at a table, minding his business completely. TAYLOR is sitting on top of a table and ZEKE and MEGAN are sitting by the table that TAYLOR is sitting on. SETH is pacing up and down the room.

SETH
I really shouldn’t be in here.

TAYLOR (muttering)
You’re telling me.

ZEKE
What happened to you?

SETH
There’s this guy. He keeps following me around. A bit like a stalker really...

Cut to
INT – THE REFECTORY – MORNING

SETH is standing at a vending machine, looking at what drink to purchase. He spots AGENT 1 peering round the corner of the door, staring at him. He looks back at the vending machine. He looks back to the door. AGENT 1 is no longer there. He makes his drink selection.

Cut to
INT – THE LRC – MORNING

SETH is sitting at a table, writing some notes onto a writing pad. He looks up. AGENT 1 is standing in an aisle, reading a book. He looks down, then back up. AGENT 1 is nowhere to be seen. AGENT 1 suddenly crouches beside him.

AGENT 1
It’s time.
Cut to
INT – THE DETENTION ROOM – AFTERNOON

SETH is standing at the front of the room. JAKE, TAYLOR, ZEKE and MEGAN are staring at him in confusion.

SETH (insistently)
I’m telling you the truth. Do you think this would be something I’d write on my personal statement? ‘Hi, I’m Seth. I spend my time at school getting harassed by a secret agent’.

JAKE
I somehow find it hard to believe.

TAYLOR
That’s rich coming from the actor we’ve never heard of.

MEGAN
I can’t wait until I get home. There’s some more songs I wanna download.

JAKE
No. Don’t you dare.

MEGAN
What?

JAKE
Downloading is killing the music industry. You shouldn’t do it.

TAYLOR (muttering)
Christ.

Cut to
INT – A COLLEGE CORRIDOR – MORNING

ZEKE is walking down the corridor. He has his hands inside his trouser pockets. He also has his rucksack on his back. FRIEND 1 comes up behind him. They walk down the corridor together.

FRIEND 1
Alright? I have a favour to ask. I was going to a party later. I need you to look after my booze for me.

ZEKE
I don’t wanna keep covering for you. All the time you’re getting me in the shit.

FRIEND 1
Cheers, man. You’re the best.

FRIEND 1 hurries off. ZEKE has an outburst of rage. He straightens himself out afterwards and casually walks away.
Cut to
INT – THE DETENTION ROOM – AFTERNOON

JAKE, TAYLOR, SETH and MEGAN are sitting at various tables, listening to ZEKE, who stops talking. KATIE suddenly bursts inside the room. She marches towards TAYLOR.

KATIE (furiously)
I’ve had it up to here with you, Taylor! How long did you honestly think it would be before I found out?

Fade Out

Lines Part 1

I extended episode 1 because some people felt that it was too short and also changed the name of Valerie to Megan. Her character is a well educated girl who rebels against the system. I think that is still the same characteristics as last time.

Fade In
JAKE (narration)
My name’s Jake Wood. I spent most of my life trying to be like a normal kid. But the fact I happened to be a TV star and also the lead singer of a band, meant otherwise. I began a new school and well, things didn’t go according to plan.

Cut to
INT – A SCHOOL CORRIDOR – MORNING

JAKE is standing with his back against the wall. TEACHER 1 is standing in front of him, shouting at him. His flies are undone. TEACHER 1 runs his hand through his hair.

TEACHER 1
You may think your screen reputation may be beneficial to you, but it’s not going to help you here.

JAKE
Three words. Flies. Open. Unpleasant.

TEACHER 1 casually zips up his trousers.

TEACHER 1
Let’s see how you cope in detention. They might teach you a thing or two.

JAKE sighs.

JAKE (narration)
That was how I met these guys.

Cut to
INT – THE DETENTION ROOM – AFTERNOON

The camera focuses with a close-up of TAYLOR’S face as he speaks to JAKE, who is standing in front of him.

TAYLOR (threateningly)
At this school, we believe in a state of hierarchy. I am at the top. You, my friend, are at the bottom. The dirty stinking bottom. You got that?

JAKE brings out a tub of tic-tacs. He holds it out to TAYLOR.

JAKE
Tic-tac?

The camera moves across to MEGAN, who is sitting with her feet on a table. She is listening to music on her iPod, which is playing loudly through her headphones.

JAKE (narration)
That’s Megan. She doesn’t say a great deal, although she proved she was good at raising two fingers simultaneously. And finally, we come to Zeke Fernando, the nicest one of the bunch.

Cut to
A Previous Detention
INT – THE DETENTION ROOM – AFTERNOON

ZEKE is sitting at a table, talking to TAYLOR and MEGAN. TAYLOR is sitting on top of a table, listening to him intently.

ZEKE
We were at a house party the other night and my mate. He, erm, he had tons to drink. Like a serious amount...

JAKE (narration)
Meeting someone like him made me question why he ended up in detention in the first place.

Cut to
The Present Detention
INT – THE DETENTION ROOM – AFTERNOON

TAYLOR is now sitting on top of a table. MEGAN takes her headphones out of her ears. She turns and faces JAKE.

MEGAN
So you’re an actor? What’s it like being famous?

TAYLOR
He can’t be that famous if I’ve never heard of him. Even if he was, which I’m sure he ain’t, he wouldn’t be here in detention, would he?

MEGAN
No. But listen to this, right.

JAKE (sighing)
Oh, God. Look, guys. I’m here because I did something. That’s all there is to know.

There is a pause.

ZEKE
I wonder how the others are getting on in detention.

MEGAN
Don’t get me started with them.

The door suddenly opens. SETH walks inside the room, followed closely by TEACHER 1. They are both arguing.

TEACHER 1 (furiously)
I’ve had it up to here with your lies! For the last time, no one has been following you! Not even this apparent spy!

SETH
If you’d just let me explain.

TEACHER 1
No. I don’t want to hear it.

TEACHER 1 turns and walks out of the room. He slams the door shut. SETH turns to face the others, who are looking puzzled.

SETH
Oh, hi.

Fade Out

quick logo

I just quickly made a logo for our facebook group so it didnt look so bare. can be updated when we have more time. i think the font is quite good as it looks like its off a chalk board, i like this concept for the logo, and maybe base most things around this. its a good start i think.